My heart is still breaking

Every time there is an update, the wound in my heart opens up and I grieve all over again.  The student I wrote about back in February of 2015, who did some pretty terrible things, was sentenced today to 10 years in prison.  He actually was sentenced to 165 years in prison, with 155 suspended.  Still, 10 years to a 19-year old boy?!?!

He is still facing charges in neighboring counties, so his sentence will probably increase.  We'll hear about that in the upcoming months.  I have talked to his mom several times since everything happened, and she continues to urge me to write to him, that he would love to hear from me.  I am ashamed that I haven't done it yet, even though I've written a dozen letters in my head.  I don't even know what to say to him, other than how sorry I am that he ended up in a place where he didn't know right from wrong.  His mother and grandparents certainly didn't raise him that way.  That person who was arrested and charged and convicted is NOT the same student I taught all those years ago--I know that, and maybe that's what I should write to him.

When I read about what he did, and the things he said, and now, what others are saying in the newspaper's comments, I am just sick.  And I'm only his librarian.  I can't imagine what his mom is going through.

I Love My Job / I am Heartbroken

I really do.  I love what I do and I love where I go.  I have not had this feeling for a few years, and I am really enjoying it.
The middle schoolers completely and totally crack me up.  They are quick-witted and determined to find their place in the world, even though they are afraid to stand out while doing so.  I am working so hard on building relationships with them.  One girl was in my office the other day and closed the door behind her.  I then was privileged to find out the name of her crush.  :)  I was sworn to secrecy.
I got this valentine on Thursday, with a tootsie-roll pop and starburst attached:

So lovely.  And appreciated.

In other news... sad news.
A former elementary student, now 20 years old, was arrested and charged with some pretty terrifying charges last weekend.  He and a cousin drove around for a couple of weeks, firing a shotgun at occupied homes (miraculously not injuring anyone).  It was just last Saturday that I saw the breaking news of his arrest, and I gasped and immediately felt my heart sink.
After leaving elementary school, this young man came back for several years and helped with my summer library program.  He built things for me and taught me how to weld.  I was just heartbroken about the news and still am.  He is in jail without bond until his preliminary hearing in mid-April.  I wrote to his mom through FB last weekend, and she responded that she, too, is heartbroken and in shock.  She recalled those summers that he helped me and said, "happier times."  Indeed.  If you've bee following this blog, then you might remember this sign. He made it in sixth grade for me, and I still have it: