Stupid, stupid, stupid

So I did something really stupid.  It was a moment of frustration, and I was in an ugly place.  I am embarrassed about it.  And after I was called into the principal's office, I felt full of shame.  Not from anything he said or did, but just the sheer disappointment I caused him and the bad position I put him in. I really let him down, and I let a student down, and I let myself down.

For almost the past week, I have been struggling with feelings of never wanting to go back to school.  But I made myself, because I know that's where I belong.  That's where I have belonged for the past 21 years.  But how close I came to letting it go down the toilet.

Now I know what the kids feel like when they do something wrong.  How bad they must feel, and how having someone in their corner is really so important.  Throughout the past week, my principal was my biggest cheerleader and supporter.  He was the one who got me to school, past my shame and disappointment, and back to working with kids again.

These are the important words, "You're better than this."  "You're too good for this." "We need you here." Those are the words that kept me going, that keep me going.