Friday, January 15, 2016

My heart is still breaking

Every time there is an update, the wound in my heart opens up and I grieve all over again.  The student I wrote about back in February of 2015, who did some pretty terrible things, was sentenced today to 10 years in prison.  He actually was sentenced to 165 years in prison, with 155 suspended.  Still, 10 years to a 19-year old boy?!?!

He is still facing charges in neighboring counties, so his sentence will probably increase.  We'll hear about that in the upcoming months.  I have talked to his mom several times since everything happened, and she continues to urge me to write to him, that he would love to hear from me.  I am ashamed that I haven't done it yet, even though I've written a dozen letters in my head.  I don't even know what to say to him, other than how sorry I am that he ended up in a place where he didn't know right from wrong.  His mother and grandparents certainly didn't raise him that way.  That person who was arrested and charged and convicted is NOT the same student I taught all those years ago--I know that, and maybe that's what I should write to him.

When I read about what he did, and the things he said, and now, what others are saying in the newspaper's comments, I am just sick.  And I'm only his librarian.  I can't imagine what his mom is going through.