Just Going through the Motions

It's been a rough month, this month of May (and here I thought April was the cruelest month).  My mom passed away last Sunday, rather unexpectedly, but certainly not outside the realm of possibility for someone living with Alzheimer's for over 10 years.
I was with family for six days, and came back to work last Friday.  I definitely felt like I was just going through the motions of teaching, but if felt good to get back to the normalcy (if it can be called that) of the elementary school day, if not the routine. My colleagues were so, so kind, and I felt like I needed a sign on my chest reading, "I'm on the edge!  Do not hug me or smile sadly at me or welcome me back to school."  I did end up saying that to a few friends, and it was good for a a little laugh.
As if there has not been enough change in my household and life this month, I've also decided to apply for National Board certification.  I think it will be a good reflective process, which is always a good thing.  Now that I have a new administrator (one who values me and what I do), it seems like a good time to improve myself professionally. All I did so far was read over the timeline and apply online.  I will owe them (I don't even know who them is!) several thousand dollars within the next year, and hopefully gain a lot more than that back.  I think it will be an exciting thing to do, although I'm not feeling passionate abou it yet. Just going through the motions...